Autistic & ADHD Life
This is a space for Autistic and ADHD adults who are later diagnosed, self-identified or beginning to wonder. I write about identity, relationships, masking, sensory experiences and what it can mean to understand yourself differently later in life.
Many of us grew up without ever considering that we might be Autistic or ADHD. We knew certain things felt harder, different or difficult to explain, but we didn’t always have the language to understand why.
Sometimes finding yourself in someone else’s words gives you language for experiences you have carried for years. My hope is that something you read here helps you recognize a piece of yourself, make sense of your story or just know that you are not alone.
“I’m Done”: Understanding the Undertow
There have been moments in my marriage when I have felt completely done, and over [...]
Sep
Learning to Listen Differently
I didn’t understand at the time that becoming hard of hearing would change the way [...]
Sep
When Love Is There, But You Don’t Feel Loved
When Two People Experience Love Differently One of the more painful things that can happen [...]
Aug
How Many Autistic People Experience Love
I once worked with a couple where one partner, who is autistic, said something in [...]
Aug
When the Pursue–Withdraw Cycle Isn’t Just About Attachment: A Neuroaffirming Perspective
Over the past few years, my clinical practice has shifted significantly. Increasingly, I find myself [...]
Jul
When I Don’t Know How I Feel Yet
One of the questions I find hardest to answer is, “How do you feel about [...]
Jun
When Your Life Has Been Organized Around Waiting
Several years after my Autism diagnosis, I began noticing something. For most of my life, [...]
Jun
Psychosexual Wellbeing in Autistic Women: Identity, Intimacy and Authentic Connection
Psychosexual wellbeing is rarely discussed when it comes to Autistic women. Historically, autism research and [...]
May
The Risk of Calling Ourselves “Neuroaffirming” Without Truly Understanding Neurodivergence
I think we need to start having more honest conversations about what neuroaffirming care actually [...]
May
The moment I realized something wasn’t landing
There’s something that has shown up in my relationship more than once, but it became [...]
Apr
Why Everything Feels Harder Now (And It’s Not Just Hormones)
By Michelle Labine, PhD April 15, 2026 Why Everything Feels Harder Now (And It’s Not [...]
Apr
When Empathy Looks Different: Cognitive Empathy, Autism and Couples I Sit With in Therapy
April 2026 “You just don’t have empathy.” It’s a moment I see often. One partner [...]
Apr
When My Diagnosis Became Their Healing: How Understanding Autism Changed All of Us
When My Diagnosis Became Their Healing: How Understanding Autism Changed All of Us By Michelle [...]
Dec
Learning to Listen to My Body: Moving From Self-Regulation to Self-Advocacy
By Michelle Labine, PhD December 2025 For years, I talked about self-regulation with my kids, [...]
Dec
Masking on Overdrive: How ADHD Amplifies Autistic Adaptation
Masking on Overdrive: How ADHD Amplifies Autistic Adaptation By Michelle Labine, PhD December 2025 There [...]
Dec
The Hidden Burnout: When ADHD Drive Meets Autistic Exhaustion
The Hidden Burnout: When ADHD Drive Meets Autistic Exhaustion By Michelle Labine, PhD A December [...]
Nov
When Trust Hurts
When Trust Hurts By Michelle Labine, PhD November 2025 I still feel embarrassed when I [...]
Nov
Part Two: When Images Guide Connection Autistic Knowing in Relationships
Part Two: When Images Guide Connection Autistic Knowing in Relationships By Michelle Labine, PhD November [...]
Nov
Part One: When the Mind Speaks in Images Autistic Knowing in the Therapy Room
Part One: When the Mind Speaks in Images Autistic Knowing in the Therapy Room By [...]
Nov
When Passion Turns Into Exhaustion: The AuDHD Rhythm of Intensity, Novelty, Burnout, and Rebirth
When Passion Turns Into Exhaustion: The AuDHD Rhythm of Intensity, Novelty, Burnout, and Rebirth By [...]
Nov
Not This Time
Not This Time By Michelle Labine, PhD November, 2025 For years, I’ve walked into situations [...]
Nov
When Connection Feels Like Danger: An Autistic Woman’s Experience of Overload and Self-Protection
When Connection Feels Like Danger: Experience of Overload and Self-Protection By Michelle Labine, PhD October [...]
Oct
Feeling “Childlike” in Power or Learning Situations: A Common AuDHD Pattern
Feeling “Childlike” in Power or Learning Situations: A Common AuDHD Pattern By Michelle Labine, PhD [...]
Oct
The Quiet Fear of Not Being Diagnosed
The Quiet Fear of Not Being Diagnosed By Michelle Labine October 2025 Many of my [...]
Oct
Not Anymore
Not Anymore By Michelle Labine October 2025 When an Autistic woman says, “I need [...]
Oct
Autism + Environment = Outcome
Autism + Environment = Outcome Understanding the Equation as a Late-Diagnosed AuDHD Woman By Michelle [...]
Oct
